Ministers’ hangover and economic stability

Emzar Jgerenaia

Ministers’ relations with Zeus have become apparent

I was born to love not to hate
Sophocles, 496-406 B.C

I have two greatest celebrations in my life – New Year and summer (of course if they don’t spoil it). Despite heavy rains and floods, the sun sitting on almost blocked and built-up Makhata mount, with terribly charming eyes, is slyly and gracefully bending its neck and languishing lovely eyes. Despite its long distance, it fills life with energy and makes you to feel the beauty of life – that’s fantastic, even during crisis! In the times when crisises (What? Crisis is uncountable? Nuts! We have countable crisises and if something doesn’t coincide with grammar rules then coming out from the ongoing situation we should changes them by people’s demand) are raging, one minister, handsome like Dartanian appeared and blackened the world. He declared with big self-confidence (where he took this self-confidence from, one might don’t have such, even in the heaven. Both heaven and economics are helpless toward nature, but it appears that ministers do not share their fate) that in the nearest future, maybe tomorrow 90% of the territory of crisis Georgia will be flooded and washed away by water. Everybody recalled the Flood, they left their houses and arable, gathered and started debates – is it true or false. People said – he is not an ordinary man, he is a minister and might have some contacts in heaven. Country and media were paralyzed. Everybody was talking about Noah’s Ark and new Deluge. It was amazing that weather bureaus and Ministries of neighboring countries were not telling a word about it. People went mad, is this flood only for us? It was a real end of the world and expectation of apocalypses. It was already daylight. It was 11 o’clock in the morning. Sun was shining stubbornly and its eyes were running shyly. The sun was feeling uncomfortable, as there were no clouds to justify minister’s prognosis.
It is midday – sun is shining, life is going on, there are no signs of yesterday’s flood. The fans of entering the books of history – eh… we thought we had the chance to enter the history, but we came a cropper. Somebody said that he might have a hangover and he joked. Someone answered, that this is not a joke when you terrify and paralyze whole country. It happens so… As I have already mentioned, my second most favorite celebration is a New Year. Few years ago, one of the ministers appeared on TV and he was having a hangover also. I was in a fine fettle and in a lovely mood, the one that a person might have once in few years and the one that absorbs whole demand-supply and Edgeworth Box… Suddenly, with terrible and severe voice minister declared (I guess he has acquaintance in upper levels also) that bird flu is going to attack Georgia either from North-West or South-East and it might kill 80% of Georgian population! Yes that’s true! The minister of Health care and of connection with heaven had no navel. Our ministers are holding two positions at the same time.
So it started… The farms constructed with new investments were closed, all the birds were killed, and property was destroyed. Business and people suffered huge damages. We were dreaming of chickens at night. However, nobody has seen the mentioned flu in Georgia, while economy suffered huge damage, while ministry attracted millions of grants. There were queues for coffins and people were measuring places at cemeteries! This was a real expectation for apocalypses! What else might one minister do, he killed such a number of chickens, nothing to say about turkeys. Business stopped and it cannot stand on its feet up today. Then we killed pigs also, one cannot find Georgian pig or piglet in the restaurant or at the market. It’s easier to marry off a daughter than to buy a piglet for her wedding!!! We miss old things. You cannot find Mtsvadi (Georgian dish) of pork with bones. These times have passed away. Now we are asking:
– Please, bring some bones with these five skewers of pork.
– No, this pig had no bones!
– My brother, is your pig a cucumber not having some bones? Who has seen a pig without bones?
So bones are in deficit! Then? So, this hard working minister who showed his worth in killing chickens (the blood of all the chickens is laying at his door) was sent to rest and share the experience in Czech Republic. Pigs and chickens have unprecedentedly bred there.
Why do you blame Dartanian? He killed chickens, but this one is killing people. The number of heart attacks increased hundred times in these days, people couldn’t sleep at night. So what… Few lives were sacrificed and that’s why Flood didn’t occur. Maybe I sacrilege, but fact is one – if there were no contacts of the ministers with heaven, even prognoses about flood might have come true. No, they are tough ones, they are new Vangas – they hit the bull’s-eye.
Wake up Georgia! Now we should have been in Noah’s Ark. We would have solved our territorial and Euro integration issues. We would storm into Europe with this ark and would have become EU and NATO members. Who would dare to stand against flood! Did you take the hint? That’s cool… Now, they will promote this minister also. Where? I guess they will send him to Ararat mount. He loves mountains and nature and ark stopped there!
In an economic theory, especially in the part of dealing and risk management, there are some political hangover risks. However, two things have not been ever separated – upper contacts and deriving information from heavens and apocalyptic issue of prognoses. This requires research studies with new method of modeling, in order to calculate scrupulously how much a “hangover” and upper contacts might cost.