Here is the story of Indian-Russian khinkali and kababi dishes, or what do we need HASSP for?

Emzar Jgerenaia

One may think we have changed our profile against the background of this bitter winter frost and switched to the analysis of the issues related to the food industry’s technologies.

Do not make haste – khinkali is a purely economic category, not to mention kababi elongated to one and a half meters and squeaky like a wicket of a wooden village house. If you ask Georgians whether they ate Indian-Russian kababi, they will toss up a stone and put their head under it. What are you speaking about – we have not seen it, khinkali is a purely Georgian dish. However, hundreds of thousands of Georgians daily eat khinkali with non-standard Indian meat wrapped up in Russian second grade wheat flour. Just water is Georgian. Georgian cuisine` s is that a half of the world will not guess it – so attractively they cook them. And if you wash it down with 100 grams of alcohol, you will think that they were wrapped in Khevsureti region (the motherland of the dish). Now look how kababi’s length has increased, how pleasantly it creaks as if it were not meat, but some substitute. It is a pure import, an Indian one, so they do not spare this cheap meat – eat it as much as you like. Indian goods are in fashion now, and in India they were added one point in “Standard & Poor’s” rating. Do we have anything against it? Just nothing, but we have to know what we eat. Therefore, we should know HASSP. Do you know about it? No? Oh…it is very important! For instance, we eat starch instead of matsoni and yoghurt of one or more than one firm. We consume soya instead of meat, dye stuff – instead of tea, foul fish – instead of canned one, bran – instead of bread, powder mixed with concentrate – instead of coffee, aspirin – instead of Viagra. Besides, in the morning you ate sour cream that had been boiled, milk in which there was something wrong with lactose, dried milk powder, out of which cottage cheese was prepared, had been made of ill-conditioned milk, and the sausages that you ate had some strange taste – here the technological process was broken.
You remember January 2, 2006 – when the minister appeared on television and predicted bringing 40% of Georgians to the grave. After that chicken meat production went bankrupt and this business suffered losses of many millions. We completely stopped this process. Why? HASSP was not inculcated and we could not understand to what particular critical point some impudent bacterium would steal. Imagine that you are very hungry and eating a crisp chicken trotter. You have no wish to look for these poor viruses, and HASSP will take care of you if you introduce it. Besides, according to the rule, you should know at which farm and on what feed the bird that is rapidly rushing to your stomach was raised. They used to say – first take a look at mother, father and then at their child, and now it is as follows – take a look at mother, father, hen-coop, and the feed and the hen, then boil it – here is HASSP’s rule. Now imagine that you went to India and, according to HASSP’s issues, in order to find out the history of the meat that comfortably settled down in khinkali you should ask the cows that escaped with their life, then you will never eat either beef or khinkali. How do you guess, why Indians themselves do not eat this meat? They have learnt its history and do not eat it. In general, the whole periodic table is lurking behind beautiful labels at our markets. I remember, when I was a child, Russians made caviar out of oil. It was not bad when I tasted it, but it had nothing to do with caviar except for the appearance. How far the science has gone?! Eh! You eat sausage, pork and reckon the amount of proteins with a calculator in your hand in order not to get the excess amount of it. Do not worry, dear – there is almost no protein in it. Or they say that one should not drink coffee before going to bed, since caffeine will not let you sleep – on the contrary, there is no caffeine in our coffee – drink a big cup and sleep quietly. When you are hungry, even cold mchadi (Georgian meal) seems sugar to you (every third Georgian, including me, has diabetes because we like mchadi). It is true, mchadi contains more sugar and cacao than the chocolate in our trading network. After a number of years all this will end up in the fact that this chemistry will bring serious diseases to us – we shall forget both hunger and khinkali. You do not believe me? Ask the Europeans. Why we are not admitted to the European food market? – Inculcate the system of safety and control over food products. First you should find out what you eat and then bring it to us, i.e. first eat it and then share it with us. They gave us money, wrote a law for us, but we do not like HASSP, every year we drag out its adoption and eat Indian-Russian khinkali. The squeak of Indian kababi is so attractive to us that we shall not control what we eat, it is not necessary to know it or our hearts will break. Therefore, we take care of the people so that their hearts should not break and, for this reason, it is better for them not to know and die happy. Or what should we do in Europe? We have a lot to do here. Do you still want to find out what HASSP is? Is it necessary for you to know it? Then the whole restaurant and market business will go bankrupt, and I do not want to cause damage to either the country’s economy or the fame of Indian-Russian khinkali and kababi. In such cases they say: if you know a lot, you will grow old soon. There are so many critical points in us that we shall not be able just count them, and it makes no sense anyway.