FROM THE EDITOR

Dr. Emzar Djgerenaia

Georgians have invented a new weapon – or we will not give food to cold war instigators? we will give them “Saperavi” to drink The Lent has started. All Orthodox Christians and naturally enough, all Georgians have special mood.

As far as we know, red wine is so holy for us that we identify it with Christ’s blood, and we drink it during the Holy Communion ritual to expiate our sins. Red wine has been a sign of closeness to the God from time immemorial, as it is one of components of communion service. Hence, if there is no wine, we will remain without communion. It has always been the worst curse in Abkhazia and in the whole of Megrelia: “Papash ziareba vamorchishabadasia”, i.e. meaning “Leave the world without communion”.
Georgian-Russian relations have become strained. Russia does not wish to give up its imperialistic ambitions openly declaring it. Nor Georgia agrees to give up its independence and the wish to access the NATO and European Union. Russia starts cold war policy by daily bombings, gas supply interruptions and threats of internal war. What should Georgians do? Russian have modern weapons, and their technologies are unfamiliar to us. Thus, Georgians recalled to their minds the old phrase ?We will not give khinkali to cold war instigators. And there it started? Georgians decided to leave Russians without communion!
90% of Georgian red wines go to Russia and with this market being the main consumer of Georgian wines, the cold war instigators will not drink our “Khvanchkara”, “Saperavi”, “Odjaleshi”, “Mukuzani” and “Otskhanuri”. We substituted them for water, spirit and dyestuff, and as there is no communion without red wine, Russians will remain without it – so they fast in vain. True, they make our life a misery, but we will give them no rest in paradise. They cannot take their nuclear bombs and gas or their imperialistic ambitions to the other world (I hope we will not be their neighbours there). Yet, considering the opinions of Georgian experts (there are plenty of them) and politicians (oh? and they are even more), Georgia is full of falsified wines, only dyed water and spirit is exported, we lose strategic branch, Chile and France outstripped us, not to mention Australia. But experts do not seem to know that it is meant for our security: Georgians have invented a new weapon ? falsified wines. Fierce struggle against foes is waged in two directions: for one thing, cold war instigators will never drink “Saperavi” and “Khvanchkara”, and for another thing, they will never receive communion and they will have a bad life if not in this world, but, at least, in paradise.
It is a superbly noble purpose, but who will appreciate the efforts? It has always been like this. Great deeds have never been appreciated in any countries and times.
Yet, our farmers spend much effort on making this heavenly liquid: expensive fuel and chemicals, low purchase price for grape. Then there comes fermentation (let our enemies ferment with bullets). Should we give the juice of vine to them to let them get drunk and make threats at us? Nothing of the kind! Let them gulp down spirits and dyestuffs! Let them remain without communion, and we see if Russians will still be in the mood of getting sulky like turkeys. Yet, turkey is a good bird. What if it has no brains, instead it has good meat. And they also have plenty of it.
I was informed on the conception in Metechi by organizers of a conference of recently formed World Wine Falsifiers’ International Association. The topic of the conference was: “The role of falsifiers in security of the country”.
I was delighted: one cannot even imagine a better punishment for cold war instigators. It turned out that 90% of Georgian red wine on the market is falsified 3-dollar wine. Oh? poor fellows, they will never know the taste of Saperavi, and these very sinful people will leave the world without communion.
It is wonderful!
By the instruction of the President, the Prime Minister Nogaideli has recently passed an order on the elaboration of a strategic plan against falsification. The Chamber of Commerce got involved in it. The president of the Commerce Chamber Jemal Inaishvili invited wine-makers for participation in the joint programme and crusade against falsification.
Yet, they do not seem to know the security concept, otherwise they would change their minds. Instead, this concept is well familiar to some Georgian “patriot” wine-makers. They make holy war on Russia. They spend the whole day in their plants and look to it that their neighbours should remain without communion. It is a purely partisan war with the use of a new weapon.
Everything is good, but what about the irreparable damage to Georgian economy? Yet Instead, Russians will go to the other world without communion, and they will die without tasting true “Odjaleshi”. Besides, the weapon proved so effective that we started selling patents to Ukraine, Baltic countries and the whole Europe.
Scientists work on the perfection of the weapon, and when I am invited to the second International Congress of Falsifiers, I will let you know novelties. I wish you good Easter and the Lord spare “noble” falsifiers, as they do not know what they do.